Celebrating Women for the Real World

Tickle Tuesday

It’s not Monday; and it’s not Humpday; so it must be Tickle Tuesday.  Tickle Tuesday is our attempt to lighten your load and make your week a little brighter.

A little ditty to share the joys of aging!  Enjoy!

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the elderly widow and asked, “How old was your husband?”  “98”, she replied.  “Two years older than me.”  “So you’re 96,” the undertaker commented.  “Hardly worth going home, is it?”

Reporters interviewing a 104-year old woman:  “And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?”  She simply replied, “No peer pressure.”

 I’ve sure gotten old!  I’ve had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, and fought prostate cancer.  I’m half blind, can’t hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded and subject to blackouts.  Have bouts with dementia.  Have poor circulation.  Can’t remember if I’m 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends.  But, thank God, I still have my driver’s license.

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape.  So, I got my doctor’s permission to join a fitness club and start exercising.  I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.  I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for over an hour.  But by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.

 My memory’s not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory’s not as sharp as it used to be.

Know how to prevent sagging?  Just eat ‘til the wrinkles fill our.

 It’s scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.

 These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, “for fast relief.”

 The Senility Prayer

Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway; the good fortune to run into the ones I do; and the eyesight to know the difference. 

 Always Remember This:

 You don’t stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you stop laughing!

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  1. * SuZan says:

    Bwahahahahaha…..sadly I can relate to a lot of these.

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 10 months ago

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