Celebrating Women for the Real World



Tickle Tuesday and A PSA

Say it with me….It’s not Monday; and it’s not Humpday; therefore, it must be Tickle Tuesday.  Tickle Tuesday is our way to lighten your load and make your day a little brighter.

First let’s start with a PSA so that we can end with a smile. 

Dear Son:

Stop pissing me off.  You were headed in the right direction.  You got your truck back.  It seems responsibility has now taken a back seat.  I’m going to have to be a bitch.  I don’t like being a bitch.  Contrary to what others believe, I really want to be nice.  But in the words of my dear friend, “It’s On!”

Dear Husband:

When I can’t sleep because I’m pissed at said son, could you please roll over and snore in the other direction?  I’m very sleepy today.  So sleepy in fact that I forgot to put dinner in the crock pot.  It was going to be good.  Sorry.  Love you, mean it!

OK, now to the funny.  Enjoy!

A lesson on how consultants can make a difference in an organization.

Last week, we took some friends to a new restaurant, ‘Steve’s Place,’ and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.

It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I observed that he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our soup I inquired, ‘Why the spoon?’

‘Well, ‘he explained, ‘the restaurant’s owner hired Andersen Consulting  to revamp all of our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour.  If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.’

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he replaced it with his spare. ‘I’ll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now.’ I was impressed.

I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter’s fly. Looking around, I saw that all of the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So, before he walked off, I asked the waiter,

‘Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?’

‘Oh, certainly!’ Then he lowered his voice. ‘Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also learned that we can save time in the restroom.

By tying this string to the tip of our you-know-what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39%.

I asked quietly, ‘After you get it out, how do you put it back?’

‘Well,’ he whispered, ‘I don’t know about the others, but I use the spoon.

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Comments

  1. * Steve says:

    Kids do have this crazy way of making us bitchy don’t they?!

    Steve’s Place!! Gotta love that name!!

    Hope you get some really really good sleep tonight! Oh what WAS going to be for dinner? I bet it was good what ever it was going to be! All of this talk of food has me hungry now:-}

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 4 months ago
  2. * Kat says:

    Okay, now THAT is funny! Bwahhahahahahahaha!

    Sorry son is stressing you out! I think since the hubs is partly responsible for you being sleepy today he should take you out to dinner. 🙂

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 4 months ago
  3. * SuZan says:

    Oh My! Remind me not to eat at “Steve’s Place”! But that was funny…..can I pop M upside the head?

    Boys!

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 4 months ago


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