Celebrating Women for the Real World



The Ring

An idle mind leads to useless thoughts.  Yesterday my mind was idle.  My hands were dry.  What does that have to do with the price of tea in China?  Well, I took off my wedding ring to put lotion on my hands and had the strangest thought.

When my mother died, my father gave me her wedding band and gave his to my sister.  Those bands mean a lot to us.  I don’t wear the ring (her fingers were TINY), but every time I see it in my jewelry box, I smile.

This brought on another thought.  My wedding ring. 

When my marriage to the father of my children (affectionately known as “the sperm donor”) dissolved, he took my rings.  At the time, I was angry and didn’t care.  Now I wonder if my daughter or sons would want them.  The memories that come with those rings?  Not so good.  Who knows, he may have sold those suckers. 

The ring that I wear from my current husband (that sounds strange, but you know what I mean), is beautiful.  There is a lot of love and memories with this ring.  However, would my children want that ring should something happen to me?  Let’s face it, although he has been good to my children and provided for their every need, they are his step-children and sometimes they voice feelings that you would expect from step-children.  Would his kids want my ring?  Other than a handful of visits over the course of our marriage, and although I love and care for them as if they were my own, would that ring have meaning to them?

Please tell me I’m not the only one with the occasional morbid thoughts. 

Anyone else in a 2nd marriage that didn’t have children with their current spouse?  Have you ever thought about something like this?

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Comments

  1. * Jill says:

    Yes, I have thought about that too. I have my ring from my first husband and wondered if it would mean anything or if it would just be bad cursed luck. Of course, I only have a son so probably not anything he wants anyway.

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 4 months ago
  2. * MilkMaid says:

    A whole new world opened up for me, with my sentimental things, after I had a new DIL that I adore and they had my first granddaughter.

    There is still time for someone special to come along and cherish your lifetime memories, don’t give up on that.

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 4 months ago
  3. * Kate says:

    When my dad died my mom gave her original engagement ring to my sister. She is not my dad’s biological daughter yet and she too voiced the step child feelings, but ultimately they loved him just like we loved him. The rings mean just as much to her as they do to me.

    My brothers wife wears one of my mom’s diamonds that his step dad had given to his mother.

    So I think regardless of biological or not you can still love something that your mother has been given by her husband, your step dad. The memories aren’t biological.

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 4 months ago
  4. * Kami says:

    I have the diamond that my dad gave my mom a million years ago, and even though they divorced, it means a lot to me. However, my dad is HERE for us, and doesn’t say stupid shit to us.

    I think that at the end of the day, kids know the difference between a parent and a donor. They can spot a narcissist, if you will. 😉

    I would hope that any step-children I may have would want something of mine like that, but I’m not there quite yet…

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 4 months ago
  5. * meritt says:

    I would think that the ring you have now is the one to hand down… it’s the one filled with love. 🙂

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 4 months ago


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