Celebrating Women for the Real World

The Difference Between A Victim and A Survivor

I’m going to try and make this the last post about Hurricane Ike.  As you know, our state was hit and there was a lot of destruction.  SuZan and I were hit, but we weren’t destroyed. 

When you have no a/c, no TV, no phone, and no lights, the first 24 hours gets rather, well let’s say “hairy”.  You over think and over analyze EVERYTHING.  You ask yourself what you could have done different or better or what you will do next time.  Hopefully next time will be a long time coming.  Then you start reading odd things, like the back of the can of bean dip.  Do you know what’s in bean dip?  Interesting.

I experienced emotions and feelings that I don’t usually let myself feel.  Like anger, sadness, anger, frustration, anger, relief, oh, and did I mention anger?  I wasn’t angry at anyone for the lack of anything they were or were not doing or were or were not providing.  I was angry at the people who are victims, but never take any effort to move from victim to survivor.  I think if I would have sat there and thought of everything that had been damaged, all that will need to be done to fix it, and all the things I can’t do without necessary means like food, gas, and power I could have easily stayed a victim.  It wasn’t easy to pull myself out, but, thanks to the best friend in the world and some really great neighbors, I was able to stop seeing myself as a victim and stopped looking at all that was wrong, then started to see myself as a survivor and started to think about what I could do to get by!

I (Sheri) still have no power.  Do you know what SuZan did for me?  She bought mini muffin pans and started making ice for me.  She stood in line for six hours for ice when she didn’t have electricity.  Of course her lights came back on as soon as she got her ice.  Instead of hording it, she made sure she could get some to me and her mother-in-law that didn’t have any.  She constantly helped me to stop looking at what I couldn’t do, but rather what I could do.  She is the best at taking a bad situation and finding a way to make it better.

As far as the street I live on, let me tell you how wonderfully awesome it is.  Some of our neighbors have generators.  They have been going out of their way to help those of us who don’t.  One neighbor made pancakes and brought some to my husband and son for breakfast (along with real maple syrup).  When I got home from doing some laundry at Suz’s (the best part of my shower this morning was drying with a fresh, DRY towel), there was a big pot of spaghetti with grated cheese sitting on my counter waiting for me.  Another neighbor had friends driving in from Austin where ice is plentiful.  She had her friend buy 5 bags.  She distributed half a bag to all the houses on the block.

Thank you to all of our readers that have kept us in your thoughts and prayers.  You helped us be survivors.  I would like to say to any of our Houston readers, if you have electricity, check with your co-workers.  If they don’t maybe you could bag some ice from your ice maker and bring it to the office.  If you have candles left, your friends without lights could really use them.  Batteries size D?  If you don’t need them for your flash light, lend them to someone who depends on their flashlight for existence until the stores stock more.  My flashlight is quite dim.  It’s hard enough to shower by flashlight, but when it’s going out?  No bueno.  My plea?  Share the wealth.  What you have and don’t need at the moment will be a Godsend to those of use who do.


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  1. * meritt says:

    I have a feeling the ice would melt by the time it made it from the land of corn and cows to your area of the world but the thought is there!


    | Reply Posted 9 years, 10 months ago
  2. * Kat says:

    Glad to hear you are doing okay. Do ya’ll have power yet? Mine came back on today. This area is projected to be all back up by tomorrow.

    I agree about your perspective of trying to stop being a victim and a survivor – whenever I started to snap, I hauled my butt down to the shelter to focus on helping the animals in need to shift my focus about my situation.

    A shower with clean towels and clean clothes really does make a difference! Your neighbors sound wonderful and of course Suzan is always awesome!!!! 🙂

    While I’m all out of batteries, if you still don’t have power, let me know and I’ll start scrounging the area nearby to get you some and ice as well.

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 10 months ago
  3. * Karen says:

    We just got power this evening. My husband hooked up three neighbors homes to our generator. Everyone pitched in and searched out gas to keep it running.

    Hope yours comes on soon.

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 10 months ago
  4. * Christie says:


    | Reply Posted 9 years, 10 months ago
  5. * Tammy says:

    There are people who will ALWAYS be victims. No matter what happens. They just can’t help themselves.

    This? Is why I hate people.

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 10 months ago
    • * Liva says:

      Some people just enjoy feeling sorry for themselves and magnifying their own problems so that they can safely proclaim,”No one suffers like I do, my life is so sad and pathetic.” By doing so, they consider themselves too weak to overcome any kind of challenges. These people will be perpetual victims, no matter how big or small the situation is.

      On the other hand, there are people who will always look to find the solution to the problem. For them, no problem is too big not to be solved. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, the attitude is this situation is,”What can I do to get out of this situation?” They want to improve their lives constantly. The reasoning is simple – the more you magnify your problems, the most difficult it becomes to solve them. So, they keep looking for solutions all the time. And I would call these people as survivors, who over a period of time, become conquerors.

      It’s all about having the right attitude.

      | Reply Posted 5 years, 7 months ago
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    | Reply Posted 3 years, 9 months ago
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