Celebrating Women for the Real World



Wow! Just….Wow!

I’m going to break my own rules and talk not only about a controversial subject, but also about one of my kids.  For those that may be new to the blog, I (Sheri) have three kids ages 19, 17, and 14.  That’s important.  I want you to know that I know how hard it is to raise kids.  I also know that each child is different.  I’m sitting hear crying.  Not tears of sadness, but tears of joy!  My youngest son past the Reading Taks.  Not only did he pass, he passed with commended performance.

I’m not going to get into everything as that’s not fair to him.  But, I’ve felt since he was in 3rd grade that he had challenges.  Now you feel somewhat sorry for me.? See, I said challenges instead of ADD.  If I would have said ADD you would have immediately thought “um, no, try lack of discipline.”  Oh, my friends, far from it.  Anyone out there the baby of the family?  Yeah?  So you know, by the time the baby comes along, they can’t get away with ANYTHING!  Not only does he have me, he has Miss SuZan, a father, a step-father, a step-mother, and an older brother and sister that think they know it all.  He IS disciplined!  I’ve raised kids.  I can pretty much tell the difference between laziness (son one tends to be) and the inability to focus. 

OK, I’m not going to justify anything.  I will say that I always felt that youngest son was very intelligent.  His vocabulary was very mature from the time he started talking.  He could figure out how things worked.  I have to ask HIM how to work most electronic items in the house.  I’ve fought tooth and nail with certain people since he was in 3rd grade.  The fight – should we take him to get tested and treated for a disability?  I did NOT self-diagnose.  I had an idea (remember – older kids, best friend who is the best OT in the world AND I worked in the school), but I did not go to the doctor and say “this is what he has and this is what he needs.”  When we went to the doctor I went with a completely open mind and was ready to hear what the doctor had to say.

I did not wake up one day and say “Oh, my child is having some difficulty in school.  He needs to be diagnosed with something and get on meds.”  No, I did not.  I thought about this long and hard (six years or so).  I researched.  I asked experts.  I asked teachers and counselor’s for their thoughts.  You may remember a post a short time ago where I mentioned making some changes that needed to be made and then a child telling me “thank you” and telling me “how happy he was.”  Yes, this is why.  We got a diagnoses.  We got a second opinion.  He was put on meds. 

Think what you want.  I know in my heart that we’ve made the right decision.  He has not been in trouble at school at all since we’ve made changes (other changes were made as well – not just meds).  He is happier.  He PASSED the TAKS with COMMENDED PERFORMANCE. 

Wow!  What a difference.  My son was having a VERY hard time in school.  Because of his frustration, he started acting out.  He was disciplined.  Basically every privilege was taken away short of breathing.  He’s always been involved in extra curricular activities.  He’s a natural athlete.  He excels at pretty much every sport he tries.  We try to do things as a family as much as possible.  He was secluding himself from all of this.  He was becoming someone I didn’t know.  I couldn’t let him continue down this path.  I had to take a stand.  It was not a popular stand at the time.  It was a stand non-the-less.  I’m so glad that I followed my motherly instinct.  What a difference.

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Comments

  1. * SuZan says:

    I am so proud of him! I knew he had it in there somewhere. You do great mama.

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 5 months ago
  2. * Karen says:

    Good for you. You know what disturbs me the most? The fact that you feel it necessary to ‘justify’ your decision. That’s where we are as a culture today. All the voices yapping out there that are so completely clueless.

    Good for you and taking your own child’s best interests seriously. Good for you in making the changes instead of just ignoring it all.

    My son is gifted. He’s been reading since the age of 3. You would never know it to look at his GPA. Why? He’s bored silly with school. He’s in all AP classes and still only doing what he has to do.

    So much of regular school is dumbed down so ‘everyone’ will succeed. That ‘s not the real world. It’s impossible. So, I did like you did. I had him tested, keeping as open a mind as possible, when he was in middle school. I was not in favor of all the medicating of kids, having read all the stuff out there and thinking I knew the answers. I also knew, however, it’s not a discipline problem if your kid is bored. My son was getting detentions left and right at his nice little private school in middle school. They were clueless. I was made to feel like it was my fault. Rubbish.

    So, he went on meds for almost 2 years. He did much better and felt a world of difference. Then, as he entered high school, he decided he didn’t want the meds anymore. I left it as his decision. He knew how he felt. He did fine without it.

    It’s all about your child. Ignore the voices out there lumping all kids together and making parents feel guilty for medicinal help.

    Good for you, Sheri.

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 5 months ago
  3. * Christie says:

    yeah, no need to justify 😀

    I agree- your child. Your rules, etc.

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 5 months ago
  4. * anita says:

    I have a DF who’s son has a reading disability…he is in the 5th grade and cannot read or write…he is basically what is called “word blind” and he is brilliant. he is at grade level or above in every other subject and to think that he has achieved this solely by what he is able to take in by hearing during classroom instruction!!!!! In my eyes the boy is a genius. His poor mom has had to go through several years of battle to get him the services and accommodations he needs in order to get an education and to get him off the meds that he had been put on at one point at the schools recommendation. they wanted to label him with ADHD but as it turns out he has asperger’s syndrome. The label wasn’t important to her but it was necessary in order to get him the services he needs and in spite of finally getting him the correct diagnosis she still had to get the state disabilities right council and a lawyer involved to get it through their heads what he needs in order to succeed.
    Congrats to you and especially to your son!!!!!! He is a courageous young man!!!

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 5 months ago
  5. * Dani says:

    Yes….congratulations and never forget that you are your child’s best advocate. I have a daughter with a severe learning disability. We struggled year after year to get her the help she needed and at times it felt like we started each new school year back at square one. But…I’m proud to say that today she is a kindergarten teacher and one of the best. She has such an empathy and understanding of children with special needs. I was once told that she would never be able to learn but she was a pretty girl and would get married and be taken care of so not to worry. BOY did they under estimate her determination and mine.

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 5 months ago
  6. * traci says:

    As the mother of a child who defied all diagnosis and has excelled beyond imagination, I shout “Hallelujah!” in your direction and celebrate your determination to do what is the best for your kid. Good work Mom.

    I firmly believe, after 3 daughters, that we are bombarded with so much crap in our society that we sometimes forget to listen to our gut, our instinct, our child(ren). You are the best advocate your son has. Period.

    Good job…to both of you!

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 5 months ago
  7. Huzzah, huzzah for you and him…go out for a lovely night of Mexican food.

    Wait…sorry, I keep thinking of my own stomach…go out for a night of whatever makes you all happy!

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 5 months ago
  8. * Kat says:

    Good for you and there’s no need to justifying doing what’s best for your son! So happy things are better for him! Oh, and did you remember to reimburse him for dinner… 😉 heehee

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 5 months ago
  9. * Kami says:

    THAT IS AWESOME!!!!!

    (Don’t tell him that I don’t think he should have to take the stupid TAKS. Shhhhhh…)

    BUT HOLY CRAP THAT IS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!

    And no, you don’t have to explain what you do for your kids. As you can see, you did what is RIGHT for him.

    I have used that same OT!

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 5 months ago
  10. * Tammy says:

    Good for you! How old is he? My son is 8 and I feel will be in this same situation in the coming years. Actually, everything you described your son as doing, my son does. Awesome athlete. Very smart. Excellent vocabulary.

    He’s not getting in trouble at school yet, but he does rush through assignments to get them done and misses a few things.

    We have considered for 2 years now getting him into a doctor. We just have not pulled the trigger yet.

    My parents always say “Oh, they always say kids are ADD and they just want to drug them. He’s fine.”

    But really, what if he’s not? I worry about this every day.

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 5 months ago
  11. * Jill says:

    Praise the Lord! You are awesome! and so is he! ALWAYS follow your gut, call it a mother’s instinct, God’s voice, the holy spirit, it is always right. I can only imagine what you felt when he said thank you. I can tell you first hand you did the right thing. We found out too late that my stepson was ADD and he was already way too far down that road of trouble. We wish we had found out much earlier before the trouble began, what a difference it could have made. Did I mention my hubby is ADD – imagine that for those of you who know him – it is tough keeping up with them. Anyway, I am proud of you!!!!!!

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 5 months ago


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