Celebrating Women for the Real World



Tickle Tuesday…

Well, it’s not Monday; and it’s not Humpday; so it must be Tickle Tuesday.  Tickle Tuesday is our attempt to lighten your load and make your day a little brighter.  You guys are welcome to participate.  Did you hear a funny joke or receive a funny email?  Post it!  Feel free to use our header.  Make sure to leave us a comment letting us know that you played!

Excerpts from a Zeus’ Diary:

Zeus

6:00 am – At last! I go pee! My favorite thing!
8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A romp outside! My favorite thing! 
9:40 am – Snuck a nap on the couch! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Sniffed the cat’s butt! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm – Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm – Milk bones and chewys! My favorite thing!
6:00 pm – They’re home! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with my people! My favorite thing! 
11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed with the boy! My favorite thing!

1

Excerpts from Mercedes’ Diary:

Mercedes

Day 983 of my captivity.
 
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. 
 
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmate and I are fed mush or some sort of dry nuggets.Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. 
 
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
 
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
 
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am. 
 
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food.  I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow but when he is in a hurry trying to leave.
 
I am convinced that the other prisoner here is a snitch. 
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released and seems to be more than willing to return.


He is obviously retarded.

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Comments

  1. * Karen says:

    Totally relate to this. Sounds like Max and Oreo around here.

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 11 months ago
  2. * Sheri says:

    LMAO! That is SO Zeus an Mercedes!

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 11 months ago
  3. * Cheeky says:

    Are you sure you didn’t talk to my fur babies??

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 11 months ago
  4. * meritt says:

    ROTFL… this post is awesome. Totally awesome.

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 11 months ago
  5. * christie says:

    lmao

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 11 months ago
  6. * Kat says:

    You forgot, ‘Made off with a full plate of brats! My favorite thing!’

    Love your critters! 🙂

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 11 months ago
  7. * the Speckledpup says:

    peeing my pants laughing.
    this is all sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo true.
    omigod.

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 11 months ago
  8. Holy shit…that was hilarious…did you write that!??!!? That is freakin’ funny and TRUE!!!!

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 11 months ago
  9. * Tammy says:

    So, Mercedes does not comment on the cat crack he is given?

    Hon – that is some funny stuff.

    I loves me some Zeus.

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 11 months ago
  10. * Katie says:

    I LOVE this. Too funny!

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 11 months ago


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