Celebrating Women for the Real World



The Rest Of The Story

This post will not make ANY sense unless you read the one below first.   

Scene IV:  Did He Go?

Fast forward through the whole getting dressed routine.  Well, unless this is a porno, which it’s not.  Good thing.  If it were, I’d be broke.  They would pay ME to keep my clothes on!

I do the whole “mommy aerobics” thing.  You know, all those things moms do in order to get the kids out of the house. 

My son G is 14.  He can usually get the dog to go out.  The dog is afraid of him.  I ask freshly showered G to help me get Oreo to “go”.  At this point its POURING rain.  G and I go outside and stand on the covered patio.  Neither of us was interested in a 2nd shower.  Besides, I was having a good hair day!  Kidding people.  I looked at G, he at me.  I said to G, “Catch him and guide him off the porch.”  G tries.  Oreo runs under the swing.  I move the swing, Oreo runs in the other direction.  G and I try to close in on him.  We run into each other.  Smart ones, we are!

I stop and looked at G and said, “You like to play in the rain, get the leash and drag him out.”  G’s reply, “Mom, I don’t want all my good smell to wash off!”  Huh?  “The girls like smellin on me, and I like them smellin on me.” 

It was at that moment that the world grew still, not even a grasshopper made sound.  I realized that my baby, yes, my BABY is now dealing with raging hormones!  Ugh!

Back to the dog. 

I had another thought.  Oreo likes to “go” in the front yard.  Now it’s still pouring rain and I still have no interest in putting the leash on him and taking him for a walk.  I figure that since I certainly had no intention of getting wet, certainly none of our neighbors would either, so I let Oreo go out front, without the leash.  Did he go?  Not yet.  No.  He ran to the garage and sat there, looking for the door to open……..so he could get in the car!  You really need to use imagery here people.  Imagine the dog had a voice.  He was sitting in the only dry spot.  He looked at me.  I swear he was saying, “OK stupid human, you let me out, now put me in the car.  You certainly didn’t think I was coming out here with the intention of getting my paws wet, did you?  Oh, you did?  Silly human!”

Now things are serious.  We all have to leave.  My daughter gets involved.  I grab my leather coat.  I stand…..in……the…….pouring…….rain.  G comes in from another direction.  Daughter comes from the garage.  The dog is surrounded.  At the same time we all yell, “Go pee!” 

He looked at us reluctantly then hit the basketball goal.  By our reaction, you would have thought we just hit the lottery.  Jumpin and cheering.  Hands clapping.  The dog looked at us, turned around and lifted the other leg.  He knew he had been defeated.

Now all dripping wet humans get the dog in the house, lock the door, get into our cars.  It hits me then, I didn’t take my meds.  One of the meds regulates my heart rate.  I have to have it.  Daughter can’t get out til I get out.  I have to turn off my car, unlock the door, get meds, re-lock door and restart car.  In the process, I left my car door open.  When I opened the house door, Oreo makes a beeline for the garage, jumped into my car and got into the back seat. 

Damn dog!

We get the dog back in.  We are on our merry way.  It is still pouring.  I’m halfway to the freeway when I realize, my cell phone was upstairs.  Ugh!  What a day!  I decided that for one day I would be cell phone free!

Advertisements

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

Comments

  1. * SuZan says:

    O.M.G!
    I don’t think I could handle that much excitement in the morning!

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 11 months ago
  2. * Moi says:

    Just one more reason I do not have a pet with feet. You never have to take fish for a walk. 🙂

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 11 months ago
  3. * Sheila says:

    OMG.. I am still laughing! I do believe our dogs may be siblings. Yeah, with all that excitement.. I would have had to go back in and go to be. Dammit, that makes a person tired!

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 11 months ago
  4. * Karen says:

    The second installment was as good as the first. Good thing the dogs in our lives are loved. Just sayin’.

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 11 months ago
  5. * Tammy says:

    Holy.

    When is hubbs coming home? The dog needs him.

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 11 months ago
  6. * Jill says:

    That is hilarious! I can truly relate but I am the one that the dog relies on for the potty…I have actually gone out with an umbrella to keep the dog dry in order to get her to potty…what a GREAT day you had!

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 11 months ago
  7. * Carrie says:

    Really, I’m not laughing at you, I’m laughing with you…. all that and Oreo wanted to go to work with you! Little stinker! Bwahahahahahahahahaha

    | Reply Posted 9 years, 11 months ago


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: