Celebrating Women for the Real World



My Office Is Bat Shit Crazy

No. I’m not lying. I walked into my office and not two feet from my chair in the spot I normally put my purse was a creature. From the way it was sitting, I thought it was a mouse or bug of some sort. I let out a little squeal. I said “Help, there’s a creature in my office!” Being that no one came running, I let out a slightly louder squeal. This was met with the question “What kind of creature?” To which I responded “A furry, gross creature.”

One of the partners finally wondered in, took a look and said, “Shit, it’s a bat! Get out! Close the door!”

When he said “Bat”, that was all I needed to hear. I ran so fast I think I hurdled one of my co-workers! We called Animal Control and the Building Management company. Apparently nobody understood that there was a BAT….IN MY OFFICE!!

Hmmm, then I realized that I had a slight problem. My purse was sitting on the floor….. in the office…..with the bat! Great!

Finally the building engineer showed up and was all like “Hmmmmm, don’t see anything. He must be gone!”

Hello! Don’t bats hide in dark places and shit?! The answer to that is YES! I had him pulling out drawers, moving files, looking in my purse! Couldn’t find it.

The other partner walks in about now and says “what, did you find a rat in your office?” You all know what I wanted to say. But seeing as how I haven’t given my notice yet I said, “No! It’s a BAT!!!! He said “that’s a health hazard! Get someone in here to find that bat!” Thanks, got that covered.

The bat is not found. It will be tomorrow before someone can come out. Yadda, Yadda, Yadda. I reluctantly sit down at my computer. My back facing where the bat was originally seen. I jumped at every creek, scratch, noise, or smell!

About an hour later one of my co-workers came in and was kidding me saying that she was going to walk in my office one of these days and I’ll be working away, with a bat hanging from my back and never would know it! Not funny. Suddenly her face turns white and she says, “Uh, Sheri, your friend is coming out of the file cabinet!”

Um, I’m surrounded by cabinets. Do you really think I was going to take the time to look and figure out which cabinet? Nooooooo. I ran down the hall screaming as coherent words would not come out of my mouth. About this time Animal Control shows up….while I’m screaming….and clutching the wall…..and screaming some more. I was sure she would come in with her gun drawn (they do carry guns, don’t they? Whatever). She calmly walked back to my office with her little rubber gloves and a small Ziploc type of bag. Two seconds later she came out talking about “you’re scared of this little thing?” Uh, YES!! Then she said something about rabies, 24 hours, etc., etc. By this time I was no longer listening but trying to figure out why I reacted to that little creature the way I did. I mean, he was actually kind of pathetic looking in that plastic bag. Then he opened his mouth. Ah, I remember now why I was terrified.

The good news? Apparently a good scare gets Aunt Flo to show up quickly. This is good as tomorrow is weigh-in day. Maybe, just maybe I’ll not be so bloated tomorrow!

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Comments

  1. * Kami says:

    FIRST!!!!

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 9 months ago
  2. * Kami says:

    AHAHAHHAHA!!!!!!!

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 9 months ago
  3. * Kami says:

    ICK!!!!!! No thank you.

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 9 months ago
  4. * FutureFoodTVStar says:

    I was beginning to think that your office merged with Carries, talking about batshit.

    And then you go talking about BATS! WTF!

    I would have been screaming my ass off too.

    Aunt Flo is a bitch, hopefully she wont mess up your weigh in day.

    And by the way, Why the hell did we all pick Thursday?

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 9 months ago
  5. * Southern Fried Girl says:

    Oh my god, how did you not cry? When i get scared I cry like I am 4 years old.

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 9 months ago
  6. * Carrie says:

    Hahahahahahaha

    I’m sorry but that’s just funny. šŸ˜›

    I’d be a bit freaked at first, but bats are kind of cute.

    Oh – the rabies deal – standard 24 hour observation to make sure he’s not infected. šŸ™‚

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 9 months ago
  7. * Shell says:

    Holy crap! How did a bat get in your office? That’s just weird. I think it’s time to give your notice now.

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 9 months ago
  8. * Dixie says:

    I would have been screaming too.

    Good luck at the weigh-in!

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 9 months ago
  9. * Tammy says:

    I would NEVER go in that office again.

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 9 months ago
  10. * speckledpup says:

    gahhhhhhhh a bat in your office.

    oh my gosh
    I’m not sure I could work there again.

    I almost couldn’t read the whole post.

    Geez what repels bats…….

    | Reply Posted 10 years, 9 months ago


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