Celebrating Women for the Real World

Martha vs. Maxine

Martha vs. Maxine
So who are you like?

Martha’s Way Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

Maxine’s Way – Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete’s sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway!


Martha’s Way – To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

Maxine’s Way – Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix, keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

Martha’s Way – When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won’t be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

Maxine’s Way – Go to the bakery! They’ll even decorate it for you.


Martha’s Way – If you accidentally oversalt a dish while it’s still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant “fix-me-up.”

Maxine’s Way – If you oversalt a dish while you are cooking, that’s too bad. Please recite with me the real woman’s motto: “I made it and you will eat it and I don’t care how bad it tastes!”


Martha’s Way – Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.

Maxine’s Way – Celery? Never heard of it!


Martha’s Way – Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.

Maxine’s Way – The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust so I don’t.


Martha’s Way – Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

Maxine’s Way – Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink!


Martha’s Way – If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

Maxine’s Way – Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.


Martha’s Way – Don’t throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

Maxine’s Way – Leftover wine??????????? HELLO !!!!!!!


Trackbacks & Pingbacks


  1. * Kami says:

    That is so damn funny.

    | Reply Posted 12 years, 2 months ago
  2. * FutureFoodTVStar says:

    Maxine.. I suck my ice cream cones.

    Martha.. I just cant do fake potatoes.

    Neither.. I put sugar instead of flour. It isn’t white after baking and it makes icing stick better.

    Martha.. Potatoes or Celery Root will soak up extra salt.

    Maxine.. Celery? Blech! Unless it is celery root (celeriac) added to mashed potatoes.

    Martha.. Gotta have shine.

    Maxine.. Jose Cuervo or Patron Silver all the way babe.

    Maxine.. I can’t open anything anymore with my numb hands.

    Martha.. Since I really don’t like wine that much anyway, I only buy it to cook with and I do end up freezing ice cubes.


    | Reply Posted 12 years, 2 months ago
  3. * Sheri & SuZan says:

    Maxine all the way baby!

    | Reply Posted 12 years, 2 months ago
  4. * Carrie says:

    Totally Maxine. 🙂

    | Reply Posted 12 years, 2 months ago
  5. * aka_Meritt - www.coffeetalking.blogspot.com says:

    I’m “Meritt” – the THIRD sister of Maxine and Martha, who does a little of both. *wink*

    | Reply Posted 12 years, 2 months ago
  6. * Dy says:

    Ok, I’m mostly Maxine, especially regarding scratch cooking (I have a box of Hungry Jack in my pantry, a set of coupons for Mrs. Smith pies I’m saving for the holidays, and my egg washed pie crusts come in a box that say Pillsbury…) but I do freeze leftover wine & other goodies in ice cube trays, since, like FFTVS, I don’t drink wine, I just buy it to cook with.

    Awesome post!

    | Reply Posted 12 years, 2 months ago

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