The last post was a little sad. Hopefully you all looked at it for what it was….a cleansing. We all have skeletons in our closet. Sometimes we have to acknowledge those skeletons in order to be free. I am one step closer to freedom.

With that I’ll leave you with this thought:

Today is a new day; only I can decide what kind of day it will be!

Peace!

You did notice that I called you Dad, not papa, daddy, or pops.  You were not the endearing, lovable, teddy bear of a father that most girls have.  In fact, you really weren’t around.  I’m not sure why?   Perhaps it was because any time you tried to do anything, mom ridiculed you and told you that you weren’t doing it right.  Unfortunately you have daughters.  Daughters tend to pick up on what their mothers do.  In my eyes, you became the man who couldn’t do anything right.

That being said, I know beyond knowing that you loved us.  I know beyond knowing that we were a hard bunch to love.  I think we put the “f” in fucked up.  Actually, make that a CAPITAL “F”!  Yes, our family was very fucked up. 

Dad, I think the thing that I regret most was going from this little girl who thought the world of you, to going to this girl who just didn’t fit into your heart.  It was like suddenly I turned 5, you taught me to ride my bike, and then never wanted anything to do with me again. 

I often wonder what I did to make you not want me around.  I just can’t figure it out.  Perhaps I embarrassed you.  That wouldn’t surprise me.  I excel at that!  Why do I say this?  Well I remember overhearing mom, you and Diane talking about the teachers wanting to test me because I was a slow reader.  Apparently I wasn’t on level.  I remember mom saying, “eventually those teachers will figure out that she’s just lazy and isn’t going to read unless there is true motivation.”  So true!  Boy was that the truth.  But do you know what your response was?  You said, and I quote because I will never forget it, “well honey, she does seem slow.  I think she may be retarded.”  Do you know what hurt about that?  You weren’t kidding.  You went on to say, “she always seemed kind of off to me.” 

Dad, I wish I would have known then what I know now.  I wish those words wouldn’t have hurt me as bad as they did.  I wish that I wouldn’t have let those words keep me from being the best that I could be.  Those words continue to ring in my head.  Every time I try something new, step out of my comfort zone, or majorly screw up something up, I hear your voice.  I hear those words.  Thankfully I am now old enough to yell “shut the fuck up” (which I literally say out loud when those feelings crop up).

You died 13 years ago.  It’s taken me that long to write this; to acknowledge some of my feelings.  Dad, I will tell you that deep in my heart, I forgive you.  As a parent I better understand that what you said you said out of concern.  You were trying to address the problem and perhaps try to get me help.  I hope that was the case.  In my mind I’ve justified what happened by thinking this.

Dad, I love you.  I miss you.  I want to thank you.  Even though you weren’t around much and you didn’t know what to say when you were around, you taught me a lot.  I have an excellent work ethic.  I’m usually at work 15 minutes early and willing to stay late to get the job done.  I almost always start what I finish.  I kick ass when it comes to numbers.  I love my animals and take care of them well.  Most of all, dad, I try to be the best mother that I can be.  All of this I learned from you.

I’m still angry at the doctor who let you die.  You shouldn’t have died.  If they would have diagnosed you properly, you would still be around.  But Dad, because of your death, Diane and I actually have a relationship.  We actually talk to each other, email, and she comes to visit on a regular basis.  Your death was what brought us together.  I just wanted you to know that because I think that would make you happy.

Dad, I regret not being able to say these words to you before you died.  I love you dad.  Thank you for being the best dad that you could be.

RIP  10/26/96.

kashi car seat

Originally uploaded by sheri_and_suzan

Not once, but twice! Two times on a Friday morning I’ve dumped my oatmeal upside down…..in the car!

I eat my oatmeal from a travel mug on the way to work. The mug keeps it hot and the eating of said yumminess makes sitting a traffic a wee bit more tolerable.

A few weeks ago I was sitting at a light two blocks from my house. While picking up the cup, I clipped the radio/CD players thing. Upside down! It was everywhere. I eat the healthy stuff – Kashi oats and crap. My car smelled like a plant for two weeks! I’m not kidding. It slid down the console, on the mat, on the carpet, everywhere!

Today….same scenario, same cup, same light. There was a little chill in the air-perfect for Oatmeal. I go to pick up my cup…..bwammo! Upside down….Ugh!

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

That word describes my weekend.  We had some kick ass weather this weekend in H-Town.  Low in the 50’s high in the 80’s!  Humidity pretty much non existent!  Wow!  If we could have a few more weekends like that I may just lose my stabbiness (word)!

I’m not one to crave waking at Oh Dark 30 to hit the garage sales.  SuZan says you get the best deals when you’re first.  Pfffft.  When she suggested venturing out for a day of garage sale-ing AND she suggested not leaving until 8 a.m., I was in! 

Let me tell you, not only is Suz the decorator extraordinaire, she is also a garage sale expert!  As we drove to the 1st neighborhood, all of a sudden she slammed on her breaks.  I’m all like “WTF?” and she was all “Look, right there, a table….it would be perfect for your living room!”  I’m still going “Huh?  Where?  I don’t see……Ohhhhhhhhh, let’s stop”.

Sho nough the table was perfect.  The table happened to have a friend named side table.  The coffee table was originally marked $120 and the side table $80.  I got both for $75!  Score!

Now, you may think “What?  She buys stuff from a garage sale for her house?”  Yes, I sure do.  I have A D D as well as a multitude of other disorders (just ask my husband.  Apparently I have a house work and cooking disorder as well).  People who have A D D tend to change things often and tire of them quickly.  In two years, who can gripe if I get rid of tables I paid $75 for?  Exactly.  Plus, I’m slowly kicking, encouraging my children to leave the nest.  I figure my garage sale purchases will make perfect furniture to help feather my children’s nest as they leave!

You want pictures?

Sorry about the blurriness of the pic.  I was trying to show the detail.  Those tassel things?  They match the tassel things in my wall paper!  Triple score!

Better get back to work!  I hope everyone has an AWESOME day!

See, I told you I’d be back.  Second post in as many days!  Score!  Since I’ve been away for so long, it’s a lengthy one!  Lucky you!

One of the things that was going on in my life over the summer was the moving out of my daughter when she turned 19.  Prior to her moving out she was living at home an attending community college.

What happens when a sweet, pretty, smart 19 year old girl meets a 23 year old smart, good looking, got it together kind of guy?  Well, no, they didn’t get married, she didn’t get knocked up, but they did move in together.  OK, STOP!  Don’t get all judgemental on me, or on her for that matter.  Things like that make me stabby (it’s a word)! 

Would I have liked her to marry 1st?  Of course.  But then again, your talking to a person on her 2nd marriage.  Would I rather them live together first and make sure they can stand each other over jumping into marriage then getting a divorce?  My answer is yes.

Anyway, back to the title.  The dynamics of our (hers and mine) relationship has changed.

I don’t know if I have the time or the writing etiquette to spell out how it’s changed, but it has.  We did so much together and she was always my helper when she lived at home.  She was my only girl lucky enough to be born between two boys.  We shopped together, cooked together, watched our shows together, and the list goes on and on.  Even though we did all of this together, there was still the mother/daughter understanding.  I was somewhat in control (yeah, right.  I’d be rolling my eyes at that too).

Now that she’s gone, it is hard for me not to call her on Saturday night and ask what she’s doing, who she’s with, who’s driving, what time they will be home, etc., etc.  I also had to get used to not talking with her every single day.  She’s busy, I’m busy, time goes by and low and behold, before we know it, it’s been a week since we’ve talked. 

Again, back to the title.  Have I ever mentioned about my A D D?  Well, now you know.

Anyway, last week I realized I hadn’t heard from her.  It was Friday.  I called, she didn’t answer.  Usually she’ll call me back when she’s available.  Two hours went by – nothing.  I texted.  An hour went by – nothing.  By this time my “mother-dar” was going “ding, ding, ding!  Something is not right.”  I called again.  She finally answered.  She sounded like shit!  I couldn’t tell if she’d been crying, upset, sick, or if perhaps aliens had come in and invaded her body!  I finally figured out that she was sick.  She told me her fever hadn’t gone below 102 since Monday.  Remember, it’s now Friday.

I went into mom mode.  You know, what have you eaten, taken, done, not done, drank, etc., etc.  When she told me that during the day she ate one, as in uno, singular chicken nugget and drank ONE, again, as in uno, bottle of water, I went nuts.  I was all “do you have Gatorade?”  “No.”  “Do you have Sprite?”  “No.”  “Do you have chicken soup?”  You guessed it, “No.”

Then I asked where boyfriend was.  We’ll just refer to him as “Z”.  He was working 12 hour shifts all week and wouldn’t get off until midnight.  Now hold onto your hats.  Ask me what Z does.  Go ahead.  Ask.  He is an EMT!  In other words, he saves peoples life….daily!  I asked if he knew she was sick.  She said no.  Why?  She didn’t tell him. 

OK, wouldn’t YOU know if the person you were laying next to in bed (still trying to grasp that) had a 102 fever?  Her answer to that with all her 19 year old wisdom, “He’s a man, mom, of course he won’t notice!”  See, I did raise her well.

While we were talking she started hacking up a lung and telling me her chest and back hurt. I decided I needed to go over there. 

I changed from my jammies at 9:30 p.m. on a rainy night, went to the store and stocked up on “sick” food, then headed to her apartment.  When I got there she was burning with fever, wearing sweat pants, a long sleeved shirt, a sweat shirt, and was wrapped in two blankets!  (Yeah, I guess I didn’t succeed in the “what not to do when you have a fever” lesson).

I got her unwrapped, food and liquid in her, medicated her, then when the fever came down to 100, I asked her where the vacuum was.  Yes, I’m ashamed to admit it.  I was THAT mom.  I quickly rescinded my comment, but the damage was done.  She gave me that “this is my place, damn it” look.  I deserved it.

So, I made sure she was OK, gave the dog food and water, took him out, then I went home.  I did not vacuum, sweep, or do the dishes.  I did not pick up the empty water bottles, fold the towels, or anything of the like.  This?  This is BIG!  Like HUGE!  Like a jumbo jet landing in the Hudson huge.  With all my OCD tendencies, I was able to respect that this is HER place, not mine! 

Snaps for me?!?

Sorry for the lengthiness of the post.  It’s been a while.  I’ve saved up a lot of words to bore entertain you with!  See you tomorrow?

I’m glad you stuck around!  I know, I know,  we keep saying we’re going to get this thing rollin again.  We will.  It’s been a little crazy.  But really, crazy makes for some good reading.  Come back by Friday (hey, maybe Thursday if you’re lucky). 

Hope all is well with you, and you, and you!  It is?  Great!  Glad to hear it!

I do want to let you all know that I collected my personal goal for the Komen walk in Houston.  As a group we raised over $1500!  I hope this effort will help KCA (Kick Cancer’s Ass!). 

Ok, that’s all I have time for right now, but seriously, check back!

LYMI!

Dear Friends and Family,
I recently accepted the challenge to raise $100.00 funds to support the 2009 Komen Houston Race for the Cure® being held on October 3rd in downtown Houston.  Please join me in the fight against breast cancer by pledging your support in the Race. Your tax-deductible contribution will fund local innovative outreach, awareness and treatment programs for the medically underserved in the greater Houston community as well as national cutting-edge breast cancer research.  Please click here to support my participation.  I truly appreciate your support and will keep you posted on my progress.
Thank you for your generosity.  Imagine Life Without Breast Cancer.
Sincerely,
Sheri

I ended the title with a question mark for a reason.  Why?  Because I didn’t take one.  Well, I actually took a one day vacation, but that didn’t work out quite as I had planned.  I ended up staying at the office until 7:30 the night before; emailing from home regarding office issues until 10:30; woke up and was emailing and taking phone calls at 8:30; more email at 11:00; then frantic phone calls at 4:00.  I then came into the office the following day which was a Saturday to take care of all the frantic issues of the previous day, my vacation day.  As I said, not what I had planned for my vaca.

Non-the-less, when I started thinking about my summer, it still proved to be eventful.  Here is a list of words and phrases that could be used to describe my summer.  If you want to play, make up your story of how they relate to my summer in the comments.  Tune in next week for…..the rest of the story.

Summertime words and phrases:

Tripcation; Greece; Broke; Sixteen; Nineteen; Moving out; camping Sheri style; Farm Town; Carmel (as in the city); surgery; fired; toilet leak in the bathroom; Major toilet leak in a bathroom; Moving in; grandchildren; Driver’s License; coin; amidoodles; Nebraska; $.58; wine; walking; wine; surgery; whine; and, did I say wine?

After reviewing the list, I may just have to break it down to a story a day.  You may have to come back and visit many times to catch up.  That’s OK because our blog friends are like real life friends.  I’ve missed you guys!

No, don’t change your settings.  This is a real update.  Yes, this blog has been neglected of late.  Why?  Well…………

As we’ve said before, there are some things we just don’t share with the www.  Then there’s the time issue.  I feel like I am at a M.A.S.H. unit here at the office.  Boss #2 had shoulder surgery 7/29.  Secretary #1 (who’s 74 years old) had a full hysterectomy 7/30.  File clerk had an emergency gall bladder ectomy on 8/21.  As of late I sometimes forget which hat I have on at the moment and occasionally find myself wearing them all at once.

On the flip side, Suz is back from Greece.  We all can appreciate what happens to life when you leave the country.  You spend a week preparing to leave, a week gone, and about two weeks catching up.

All right, those aren’t the only reasons we haven’t been blogging.  It seems Facebook is consuming much of our time.  Not just Facebook, but this silly little (addicting) game called Farm Town.  Yes, it is addicting!  I promise!

All that aside, I can’t help but wonder, does anybody really care what’s going on in our life?  Do you really come to check out our whit and charm?  Really, how many pictures of grand kids, grand dogs, adult beverages, etc. can we post before you say “really?  this again?”. 

I think I’ll bring this little update to a close by asking you this- do you really want us to continue?  Would you come here on a regular basis if we actually updated more than once every six weeks?  Do you really want to see baby, dog, booze pictures?

Let us know.  Help us decide if this is something to continue or bid a fine farewell.