I guess I’ll have to pull something out of my ass! Lucky you it’s a big ass so I should be able to come up with something.
Thinking, thinking……Oh, I know. My neighbor taught me a new phrase that her and her family use.
She’s got a gajillion kids, grand kids, spouses of kids, sisters, cousins, nephews, nieces, neighbors, etc., etc. She is a very kind woman. She is also very wise. You can imagine that people call her regularly for advice, to vent, for recipes (this woman can cook), etc., etc.
I was sharing with her that now that two of my kids are grown, our relationship has changed. I’m still mom, but they are adults, not children. Sometimes they call for advice, sometimes to vent, sometimes just to say hey. The only problem is, I’m still mom and I don’t always like to hear what they are telling me. On that same note, I still feel that I need to solve the world’s problems (including theirs).
Having an adult child is much like having a small child, the difference is the stove just gets hotter and the toys more expensive. When your child is small, you tell them repeatedly not to touch the stove, it’s hot. We all know the more you tell a child not to do something, the more inclined they are to do it. Eventually they touch the stove, get burned and learn not to do that again.
In a certain sense, you can tell your adult children that they shouldn’t do this or that because…….you know the rest. Usually our adult children think they know better, usually try whatever it is and occasionally end up getting burned. Lesson usually learned.
My neighbor has a rule with her family. If they call needing advice or wanting to vent, they will say “can I dip into your bucket”.
If she is tired or going through a difficult situation she’ll say, “no, my bucket is empty, but I’ll be glad to listen.” Sometimes that’s all it takes. People feel better just talking about a situation and aren’t always calling to get a solution.
Sometimes she will say “my buckets full, do you need a suggestion or just an ear?”
I think that’s awesome. What a great way to communicate. She (especially with her children) is distinguishing if she needs to be worried and help come up with a solution, or if she just needs to be the “go to” person, someone they know will listen without judgment.
So now you know, if I ever call (or email) and say “Can I dip into your bucket”, you will know that I’m not being nasty! Bwahahahaha
Love it! I may have to borrow this too.
That’s wonderful! She sounds like an awesome person.
I really like that!!
I love it.
Most of the time, when I call you bitches, I AM looking for suggestions. It’s the mens that have to FIX FIX FIX instead of freakin listen.