Once Upon A Time……

….or maybe “He Said, She Said”

Once upon a time there was this man and this woman and they were married.  The had been married for like a gazillion years. 

They lived in this state that’s usually warm but sometimes it gets cold.  She doesn’t like to be cold.  She will often go to bed wearing flannel pink jammie bottoms with a sweatshirt that has a stain on the front. (She is very sexy, I know!)

One night, let’s call that night Monday, she and he went to bed.  They were quietly doing whatever it is they do before drifting off to the world of slumber when suddenly she got hot.  No, not HAWT, but hot.  She took off her pants.  She still was hot.  She took off the sexy stained sweatshirt.  He suddenly took quite an interest of her hot-ness where hot-ness equals she was literally hot, not HAWT.  He didn’t seem to care.  Hot, hawt, it’s all relative, right?

(stick with me, this is where the he said, she said comes in)

He said:  “Well, what do we have here.”

She was all like:  “WTF, didn’t you pass anatomy, it’s my ass!”

He said:  “It’s naked”

She said:  (well she said nothing, she just rolled her eyes)

He said:  “Why is it naked?”

She said:  “It’s Monday, don’t worry about it”

He said:  “But it’s naked!”

And one thing led to another and he did like this and she did like that, and they did……and then he went for a smoke and she went for water (shut it), and then his head hit the pillow and she………………COULD NOT SLEEP! 

And that is how this fairy tale ended….him snoring and getting a good night’s sleep all happy and sated and she?  Well?  She’s writing stupid fairy tales on her blog!

Here Comes The Snow In Houston

Well, not that I know that to be fact, but, based on actions?  it’s quite possible.  Why?  I went to the gym last night.  Yes, the same gym I’ve been paying for for the last gajillion months.  Not only did I GO to the gym, I went into the gym….and I worked out!  I was even sweating when I left!

I don’t know why I can so easily talk myself out of going.  I feel so much better when I work out.  So much so that my co-workers may just tell me to “take my perky dial…… and turn it DOWN a few thousand notches!”

Anyone know where the quote came from?

Have a great day!

Day Off Please

How and when did it happen?  I’ve over-committed myself……AGAIN!

When my children were little, I volunteered for EVERYTHING!  PTO, fundraiser, girl scouts, boy scouts, team mom for baseball, soccer, and football, etc., etc. 

As the kids got older and made it clear that I was an embarrassment  really didn’t have to do so much for them, it was the permission I needed to back off.  I was all like “Perfect because I don’t want to volunteer anymore so nanny, nanny, boo, boo!”  (Yeah, of course I took it as a blow to my self esteem, but I couldn’t let them know that.)

I then went in the complete reverse direction and didn’t even volunteer for anything.  What a difference.  Of course THAT didn’t last long.  With me being me, I couldn’t stand to be idle.  I started small.  An event here, a fundraiser there, a party now and then, nothing much.  Somehow before I realized what was happening I’ve suddenly booked myself silly! 

I took one of those personality test things (see below) and it was fairly accurate.  Up to and including this little character flaw trait.  Very interesting!

And what does this have to do with anything?  Absolutely nothing.  Nothing other than I’m tired and don’t feel like doing anything more than sleeping!  But I can’t!  Why?  Cause I’ve booked myself silly!

You Know You’re Getting Old When……..

…..the highlight of your weekend was finding a table that has great potential for your foyer.  But not only did you find it, you refrained from impulse buying.  When the lady at the counter pissed you off, you managed to walk out of the store conceding that it’s her loss and that next time she sees you, she will be bowing at your feet and begging you to BUY.THE DAMN. TABLE!  PLLLLLEEEEEAAAAAZZZZZZEEEE!

Yup, sums up my weekend in a nutshell!

The DISC Model of Human Behavior

I did part two of this whole figuring out who I am.  Do a little Google search on DISC Model of Human Behavior to find out more about this test. 

Basically you answer questions, figure out numbers, and end up with two graphs.  One graph indicates   how you think people expect you to behave.  It’s your normal guarded and masked behavior.  Graph number two is entitled “This is me”.  It is your response to how you feel and think under pressure-how you really feel and think inside.  It’s your normal unguarded and unmasked behavior.  There is a middle line on the graph.  All points above the middle are your strong points, the points below are your weaker points.  Most people are a blend of two behaviors.

On graph one (the way I think about myself) I only had one letter above the mid-line.  According to me, I’m an “I”.  “I” stands for inspiring, influencing, inducing, impressing, interactive, interested in people.  I pretty much agree with this.

According to the second graph (my normal unguarded and unmasked behavior) ”I” and “S” are above the line and the other two are ON THE LINE!  Basically that means I fall into EVERY category with I & S being my strongest points.  How can that be?  My friend summed it up this way:  “You are a people pleas-er and an enabler.  You try to be all things to all people at all times.”  Wow!  She’s right!

We already covered what “I” stands for.  I am an “I/S” blend.  “S” stands for Steady, stable, shy, security-oriented, servant, submissive, specialist. 

OK, shy?  Really?  Submissive?  LOL.  I don’t agree with those, but the others are a big YES! 

What happens when you get an “I/S” blend?  Oh boy, are you sure you really want to know? 

OK, you’re still reading so I guess you do.  Here you go:

Inspirational Specialists.  I am influential and stable (ha).  I love people and people love me (I do love people).  I like to please (dahhhhhh) and serve others (have you ever been to my house?  You will not leave hungry and you may have a bag of stuff that I think you just can’t leave without).  I do not like time controls or difficult tasks (I LOVE time controls; difficult tasks?  Well as an example, if you need help with a home improvement project, the only way you’ll get me over to your house to help is by not saying “home improvement project” but saying something like “I have a bottle of wine I’m about to open, want to come over?”)  I want to look good (yup) and encourage others (definitely), but often lack organizational skills (hell to the no!  I am uber organized.  Maybe a little OCD).  I follow directions and do what I’m told (Hold on, I think coffee may have just squirted out of my nose, nough said).  I should be more concerned about what to do than with whom I should get to do it (not me.  Usually people are all “You don’t have to do it ALL.  Let someone else help).  I am motivated by interactive and sincere opportunities to help others (yup).  Regardless of being up front or behind the scenes, I influence and support others (I try to).  I make a good friend and obedient worker (jury is still out on the latter but I always try to be a good friend).

Not a bad assessment.  In fact it’s pretty spot on! 

Since you all FAILED at de-lurking in the last post, I won’t ask you if you think this is an accurate assessment.  No!  Don’t tell me.  Don’t even THINK about telling me!   

Happy Friday my friends!  (That’s happy FRIDAY; not BIRTHDAY!  LOL) 

What? That last statement didn’t make sense?  Well, if you WANT to leave a comment and ask me what that means, that’s fine.  If enough people ask I may let you in on the little funny!

Who? Me? Really?

My goal is to blog regularly, like back in the old days.  Yeah, don’t hold your breath. 

I haven’t been blogging regularly for many reasons, one of which is a time issue, another is due to this sudden urge to be very private.  I know?  Right?  Me? Private?  Ha!  I’m a freakin open book!

In my attempt to bore you, blog regularly, I am just going to share random thoughts and things that come up.  Lucky you!

Today’s rambling – My ministry profile.  I know! Crazy, huh?  I’m actually getting involved in a church because I found a church that I love that isn’t a church of condemnation.  Don’t worry, I’m not going to turn all preachy. 

Anyway, I feel that if a church is going to help me, I should give back.  I don’t know if it’s because I’m getting older and stuff, (let’s just say wiser, K?), but instead of just jumping into something that may or may not be right for me, I decided to take this seminar (for lack of a better word), that helps you identify your gifts so you can volunteer by doing something that suits your personality.

I knew I was bossy a leader, and I knew that I was hospitable, and organized and all that crap, (and elegant with my writing and grammar too, yes?) but I was surprised that my biggest strength was mercy.  Here is the description:

Christians with the Gift of Showing Mercy demonstrates genuine sensitivity to suffering.  They are compelled to help people reduce pain.  They are concerned more with the person, than the reason for the suffering.  Focusing on the feelings of those who hurt, Showers of Mercy desire to minister by “being there” when people really need them.  sympathizing and/or empathizing are their specialties.  While others may care more about why, what, when or how, those with the Showing Mercy are interested in “who” needs tender loving care.

To Summarize:  Caring

Overuse:  Too sensitive

Goal:  Wise insights, not foolish responses

I agree to a certain extent.  When someone is hurting, I hurt.  I don’t even have to know the person.  If I think they are hurting or in need of something, I feel the urge to help.  I would say I put the person first, but, and maybe this comes with motherhood, I also care about the when, what, why and how.  If you don’t fix the when, what, why and how, the person will never stop hurting. 

I do agree that I’m overly sensitive.  I hope I come across as caring.  Wise insights?  The jury is still out on that one.

What do you lucky peeps who know me or who have read the blog and think you know me think? 

BTW-I think last week was national “de-lurking week” or something like that.  If you are a lurker, feel free to leave a comment.  Well, unless it’s creepy.  Then you really don’t have to!

Peace!

2010

Let’s see.  I’d say we’re off with a bang!

12/30 – My son totalled his truck.  His truck that was just repaired from the last wreck on 12/10.  Good news – this one wasn’t his fault.  Bad news – the other driver had no insurance.  The best news – he wasn’t hurt.  The other driver was going the wrong way in traffic. 

1/1 – My daughter got married.  Yes, you heard me.  MARRIED!  It was awesome.  I love my son-in-law.

1/2 – After a sleepless night due to one dog whining all night, I took the dog to the vet.  $247 later, he was sent home with an ear infection in each ear and a bunch of medicine that I get to give him daily for 14 days (giving the dog an ear bath, ear drops and a huge pill daily = fun times).  The good news?  He’s much better now!  I love that dog!

1/3 – I woke up coughing my head off.  Every time I coughed, it felt like knives were going through my chest.  The good news?  The Walgreens near my house has a Take Care Clinic.  My insurance covered my visit.  I was seen on a Sunday for $20 and was able to start meds!  The best part?  I sat on my butt all day.  Priceless!

Today I took my car to the tire place.  I had ANOTHER nail in my tire.  Of course if was in a spot that can’t be patched.  I had to buy a new tire.  The cost?  $120.  The best part?  It would have been $200 had I not had road hazard insurance.

The moral of this story?  For every bad there is some good.  Look for it!  Sometimes things don’t happen how or when we want them to happen.  Not to get all preachy, but take my son’s accident for instance.  I believe in God.  I don’t think my children would have made it through infancy had there not been a God.  They certainly wouldn’t have made it through their teens!  Anyway, I was praying about New Year’s Eve.  I can’t control what my adult son does.  I can pray.  Maybe this was God’s way of protecting my son from himself or someone else that may be doing something stupid.  Maybe it’s God’s way of getting his attention. 

Anyway, back on track (squirrel)!  I mainly wanted to wish you all a Happy New Year and encourage you to always look for a positive in every situation!

Merry Christmas Y’all!

And no, this post is NOT a day late.  If you think about it, today is next year’s Christmas Day!  Right?  I know!  Genius!

I hope everyone had a fantastic Christmas.  I did.  The dynamics of my family are changing.  This person who is going to be my son-in-law is a great guy!  He cooks sausage.  He washes dishes.  He picks up the Christmas trash.  Later we played Catch Phrase and Uno.  I hope we didn’t chase him away.  Apparently my family is a bit competitive.  Gulp.  Yes, I did get great pleasure in playing all those draw two and reverse cards against him!  LOL!

I have two days of vacation left.  So far this morning I’ve accomplished…..nothing.  I ate cookies for breakfast, laid on the sofa in my jammies, started the laundry (well at least THAT’s something), and started watching old movies (Bridget Jone’s Diary).  I think that is the agenda for the day.  A whole bunch of nothing.

I hope you all have a great day and enjoy the things that matter most….friends and family.

Peace!

Check back.  I may post some pics.  Since I’m a little lazy today, I will direct you to Flikr (see the side bar)?  I did something really fun this year.  I hostessed a cookie baking day.  Nine ladies came over and we baked, baked, baked.  We may have drank a  it as well.  It was great!

Ahhhhhhhhh!

My last day of work until the 28th!  I have not taken an entire week off since 1998.  I am so happy!  To add to my exuberance, the sun is out in H-Town. 

You know, the older I get, the less it takes to make me happy.

BTW-Thanks for the advice in the post below.  It is my daughter’s wedding and she should decide who she wants to have attend.  I guess I was more or less involved because she asked me who of my family and friends should be invited.  Can anyone tell that I’m an ENABLER?  I know, right?  I would never have been able to guess that.  I always want to make everyone else happy.  Thus created the crisis of whom to invite.

Hypothetical Question

Let’s say you have a sister and a half brother.  Let’s say that you see your sister about twice a year and talk/email frequently.  Let’s say that you’ve seen your half brother twice in the last 20 years.  Let’s say your sister and half bro don’t get along…..AT ALL!  In fact hate may be a word to describe their feelings towards each other.  Let’s say that you (me) weren’t involved in the major downfall as to why they hate each other.  Now, let’s say one of us (me) has always felt a little guilty about not involving half bro in her life and the life of her children.  Why?  Let’s say she (me) avoids conflict at all cost.  That’s her (my) coping mechanism.  Her (my) half bro has some character flaws that itch my spine, but its nothing that can’t be tolerated for brief periods.

OK, I’m confusing myself. 

Long and short, the peeps don’t get along, yo, and I’m in the middle and shit. 

My daughter is getting married….most likely on Valentine’s Day.  Valentine’s Day was the day that my mom and dad were married.  My half bro is my mom’s child.  She brought him into the marriage.  Anyway, Valentine’s Day was always a very special day because of that.  Their marriage made my mother so happy, she was buried in her wedding gown.  Creepy, right?  I know!  But hey, at least we all agreed as to what to bury her in, cause we sho didn’t agree on nothin else!  Word!

I want my sister to come to the wedding.  I would like to invite my brother, but, I know my sister won’t come if he does.  I feel kind of awkward inviting my brother because we haven’t been very close, but, heck, we aren’t getting any younger, and really, he is family.  Like I said, I wasn’t the one who had the fall out.  I was indirectly involved.  What he did to my sister pissed me off, but she did some things to him that weren’t too nice either.  But now that my BABY is getting married (did I just say that out loud?), I would like by-gones to be by-gones.

What would YOU do if YOU were me, her, it?